Wandered around for 4 hours today in San Fran and ended it by sitting in front of the Pacific Ocean while having a conversation with my ex on the phone. It was a chill day.
'Tis
Day 7: Bane of the Enlightened
1. To dance. Not just to dance, but to be amazing at it. There's really not a moment of the day where I'm not thinking about dance. When I listen to music, I think about choreo to it. When I'm eating, I think about how many hours I'll need to rest before I can start dancing. When I think of my ex (sad to say I still do) I think about how we danced together. It's such an integral part of my life. I eat, breathe, and live dance.
2. To save people. Kinda like a super hero does. I would actually love to be a super hero, and I think I'd be good at it. I mean, all I'm lacking is the physical prowess, gadgets, and the bulletproof skin. I'd be all up in that. Then again, I wouldn't mind just being a doctor and helping people that way. Here's to hoping I make it.
3. I really want to find that someone special. I was asked a couple days ago when I wanted to be married, and I thought about it and I realized that, really, I'm already ready to get married. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to marry some random Jane or Jill off the street, I'm just saying, I think I'm mature enough to tie the knot. I don't have the desire to sleep around with hundreds of girls. I don't want or need flings with girls to find out what I want in a girl, because I already know. What I really want is some special girl who I can trust and love to keep me grounded. Someone who doesn't take me for granted and someone who can love me in return.
4. To be able to trust people. Growing up the way I did, living the way I do, you don't trust people. I hate being so paranoid and believing that people will betray you the first chance they get. It makes me feel so guilty for not being a good friend. I never believe what people say. You know the saying "take everything with a grain of salt?" well, I take things with at least 4 metric tons of salt. I think I'd be more happy if I could trust people. I mean, you can't see what's ahead of you if you're always looking behind to check who's going to get you, you know?
5. Endless fortune. I know that sounds cliche and soooo greedy, but really I could fulfill wants 1 and 2 so much easier. With my money I could finish school easier, go to med school easier, probably wouldn't become a doctor, but start up my own hospital and research center. Plus, by not having to work, I'd be able to dance ALL THE TIME. Maybe fund Movement Lifestyle and other dance companies. Oh the possibilities.
6. Confidence. I feel like most of my failures (mainly all my greatest failures) in life are because I never thought I could accomplish them in the first place. I've only achieved a bit of confidence in the last year, and it's completely changed my life. I can't even imagine how I'd be if I had as much confidence as I wanted.
7. As for my final want... I guess it sounds kinda lame or stupid and impossible... but I really really want to be an Angel. To be completely free from everything. All the troubles of life... just... gone. I can only imagine...
There's 7 of my wants. See you tomorrow.
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