Thank You.

I actually wanted to post this on actual Thanksgiving Day, but couldn't because that day was one of "those" days; and I literally couldn't think of anything meaningful to say because my mind was clouded with so much regret and negativity. Today though, different story. So let's go.

This post is mainly just to put my appreciation for my best friends into words. Something that a lot of people don't do nowadays. I am a fervent believer that you should always treat your friends with the utmost appreciation and kindness; especially if they mean something to you. It's something I learned the hard way, but if you love someone, you should let them know. Really, you don't even need to use words to tell them; really, the best way is to show your care for them.

Everyone on this list, I care about you deeply. This isn't just for Thanksgiving, either.

I thank the Gods everyday for blessing me with your presence.

Henry Guan:

First and foremost, I would like to say that you are the only man I've ever loved; real talk. You're the person I've shared so many fun memories with. I remember the times back in Homework Help when we played card games after doing homework, going to Jun's house to play DDR (and you guys made poked fun at me for liking Julie back then xD), playing tennis way back when at McGuane with Wing and Justin, coming over to my house with Jun to play SSX Tricky (Jun fall down... funny), playing basketball in the middle of winter to the point where I couldn't speak straight anymore because of the cold, you teaching me how to ride a bike while learning the Sorry Sorry dance, doing the Sorry Sorry dance together at my house, all those talks 'til 4AM we've had, watching Samurai Champloo together, and tonight, where we slapped each other silly playing the ABC game at Saint's Alp. I could go on for weeks just listing all the other memories we've made over the years.

I don't know where I would be without you in my life; but I'm damn sure that I wouldn't be half the man I am today without you. I've always admired and respected your true sense of morality and how you always are able to do whatever the fuck you wanted without caring what other people thought. Throughout the years, you've always had my back, and I truly believe that you always will.... hahaha... you just IMed me telling me you decided not to shower and screaming out "WOOO!!!"... it's shit like that why I'm so proud to call you my best friend. You're amazingly unique, unbelieveably hilarious, and one of the best and strongest supports I've had in my life. We are so different in our personalities... but our souls couldn't be any more identical.

It's been a rough year for both of us, as you know, but we're gonna get through it. We keep each other strong and we're going to be happy soon. I know it.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you, brother.

(I had so much trouble picking a picture, but this one for some reason, made me the happiest xD)

Kim Mok:

It's so strange that I've only known you for about 2 years now... yet... I love you just as much as I do Henry. I really don't know what to call our relationship; "close friend" isn't good enough, and "sister" definitely doesn't fit either, you are definitely my best girl friend, but to me it doesn't do it justice... One day I'll find the perfect way to describe it, but for now I'm just going to enjoy your company.

I still remember meeting you at my second practice of NightLife '09. I literally saw you and was totally smitten hahahaha. I friended you on facebook and mentioned you in a comment about your shoes (which I thought were so awesome) because I was too much of a pussy at the time to actually post something meaningful on your wall. You're literally the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, much less get this close to; even though you would never admit it haha...

Since then, we've shared so many experiences together. We've choreographed a piece together (something I haven't done with anyone else), we've broken bread countless times, cooked for friends and each other, had ab competitions with each other, had so many deep talks and shared so many stories with each other, shed tears together, and have kept each other strong for as long as we've known each other. heh, I still remember the time I pissed you off last year... hoo.. that was one of the longest nights of my life; wondering what I had done to our friendship.

Without you, there is no doubt in my mind that I would be dead right now. Thank you so much for giving me something to live for.

We're still going places, and to me, it doesn't matter where the hell we end up, because we'll still be there for each other. Love you, babe. Thank you for being there when I need it the most.

You mean the world to me, and I hope you know that.

(Man.. we are beautiful)

Alexander Yuwataepakorn Susanto:

Dude, I don't even know where to begin... I guess just to say that I am the man I am today because of you. You taught me what confidence was. You brought me into the world of dance. You also played a huge part in saving my life... on more than one occasion, I'm ashamed to say. You were my first real role model, and you still kind of are, even though a part of me doesn't want to admit that I need to look up to you (because it shows that I'm not strong enough).

We had some low times, but really, I don't care about those anymore. There's been too many good memories to even let the bad ones tarnish our relationship. The time I spent with you in NYC and BDC turned into some of the best memories and experiences I've ever had. Even that drive around New Jersey after that Applebee's experience where I got paid to eat food was so fun to me. Just talking about our pasts, girls, and relationships.

The day I came home for some break (I don't remember which one specifically) and my brother told me that I seemed more confident, I knew deep down that it was because of you. You were the catalyst that started my growth, and without you, I'd probably still be a loser kid that gamed all day and didn't have the confidence to look at a girl in the eyes.

So thank you. For everything.

(hahaha, I just remembered the times we tried to "thousand years of pain" each other.. miss ya bro.)

Marz Rivera:

It's almost been a decade since we've met. I still remember those ackie days when we'd go to computer info tech together and work on projects.. hahaha.. and that time that dude took a picture of us because of Felix's bigass bookbag.

You were there for me freshman year when all my other "friends" were talkin' hella shit about me. Though we've never really had many deep talks, and even though I don't really know as much as I would like to know about you, know that I got your back no matter what the situation because I know you got mine.

Real talk, you're one of the reasons why I work so hard in dance and in 2XS. For some reason I feel like I gotta keep my skills up so I'll never disappoint you. I'm so proud of you and how far you've come these past years, and I wish you the best.

Thank you for the loyalty and everything else, bro.

(I was worried I didn't have a picture of just us that looked good. Boy was I wrong)

Venus Liang:

You're amazing, you know that? Back when I met you during BizCaz practice, I would've never thought how important you would become to me; nor how important I would apparently become to you.

I think out of everyone on this list, I've had the most deep, spiritual, and philosophical discussions with you. Like that time we just sat in... someone's car until 4 or 5AM just talking about our lives and talking about relationships and guys and girls... and seeing a raccoon (god damn that nig was huge). You're one of the few people I can actually open up completely to, and that's saying a lot.

You called me your role model once, which surprised the hell outta me but made me hella happy; and since then, it's given me the motivation to try my hardest at everything to keep up with what I believe are equal to your standards. I promise I'll work to the point where I actually feel like I'm worthy to be your role model, and I'll try my hardest to not fall.

You have the amazing innate ability to make me smile, no matter what the situation is. I'm so proud of all you've accomplished, and I hope to make you proud one day as well.

Thanks for always brightening up my days, boo. :)

(Real talk, I felt awkward during this pic because I was touching your bare back)

Don Mach:

Really, I still have no idea why you took a shine to me, though I'm so glad you did. You took me under your wing and trained me, for no reason at all. Through dance, you've taught me so much about life and perseverance. You're probably one of the main reasons I work so hard in 2XS (which you helped me get into in the first place) is because of you. I want to one day get on your level and make you proud.

We've shared drinks (I'm still convinced you poured more than one shot of kraken into my rum and coke...), cooked pizza together with the P.I. fam which you helped create, and talked for hours about philosophy and happiness. Things I take to heart.

Thank you for constantly looking after me, really, you are a big brother to me.

(dude, we need a better fucking photo)

Robin Jun:

You probably didn't think you'd end up on this list, did you? Well, regardless of where we may stand now, I still thank the Gods every day for the opportunity to have met you, to have kissed you, and to have loved you.

While I've said so many times that I regret how things turned out between us, I never once regretted going through the journey with you. Through our experiences, I've grown more than I ever have before. You were the first girl I ever loved, and definitely the first girl I spent basically everyday with for basically a year. Never have I had such a desire to get to know someone before, though you never made it easy for me to do so, hahaha.

We've had so many experiences with each other, and while not all of them were good, every single one of them changed me in some way; I like to think for the better.

At the moment, I'm thinking about all those times we had... Our first lunch at Panera with Christine, XiXi, and Simon during runthroughs, the day I gave you the "doorknob to my heart", going to the mall with Kim and getting into the photo...box thing, '10 formal with that stunning dress, that day (night for you) we chatted online while I was halfway around the world in China, the day I asked you out and you shot me down, the day I asked you out again and you shot me down though we still ended up together (I had a huge smile on my face I could not get rid of), that snowy night we went to bombay and chilled in your room watching how I met your mother, the emotionally unstable night before we broke up, Fashion Show '10-'11 and the night after (Hooo, that was crazy...), the day we broke up for the first time, that spring break where I was a complete asshat, the summer nights when we'd stay up 'til 5AM just chatting about nothing on skype, the day you came back and we got back together, Mark's party, going swimming, the second time we broke up, all the workshops we've been to and all the dancing we've done together.... and well, now.

I cherish all those memories and more. You're one of the most unique girls I've ever met. You're an amazing dancer with so much potential; honestly, I'm jealous sometimes. You're still somewhat closed off from people, and I hope one day you find someone you can open up to; even though that person will never be me.

While I've been a complete dick to you the past month or so because I was upset with you, I would like you to know that I do still care for you. Even though we can't be friends anymore, I still care. I appreciate you and everything that you've done for me, and I wish you the best of the best. Wherever you may end up.

Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for being my first (and, I guess, second) girlfriend

Thank you for the first kiss (though you kinda missed)

Thank you for teaching me (inadvertently) how to be a good boyfriend

Thank you for the memories I'll always have

Thank you for changing me for the better.

I'll never forget.

Everyone else:

Don't think I forgot about you guys either. ;)

Though we may not be as close as I am with those above, I still appreciate every single one of you. Hell, I'd type out a thank you for all of you guys, but sadly, I just don't have enough time, patience, or mental fortitude to do all of that.

I hope one day we can become close friends, but until then...

Thank you.

P.S.

Dr. James Nachman:

You died on June 10, 2011. A day I will never forget.

Thank you for saving my life 7 years ago. I owe you everything.

My life's work is just to make you proud.

See you soon.