Don't get me wrong, both events were really fun; however, I realized something when I was hanging out with my high school friends: I couldn't relate to most of them anymore. I mean, I wasn't close to a good amount of them to begin with, but even some of my friends who I had hung out with for most of my high school years I couldn't really talk to them or have fun with them like I used to. I don't know if the time apart has caused us to drift apart (most likely the case) or my personality and interests have morphed to the point where I can't really connect with these people anymore. Honestly, I felt kind of awkward and tense most of the time, and any/all jokes I tried to make seemed kind of forced. When I went out today, I really hoped that this wouldn't be the case... but I just don't feel like I belong in this group anymore. Again, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I'm going to discard all these people from my life and hope I never see them again; no, no, no I just feel that a good chunk of these people have devolved into acquaintances rather than friends. (incase you were wondering, the rest of that chunk are still my friends are people I can connect with)
It's just that I find it weird that eating and hanging out with Kim, a girl I've only known for about half a year, was more enjoyable to me than watching a movie and partying with people I've known for about 2+ years.
I guess I've just lost like 80% of my friends in Chicago.
Well, shit.
2 comments:
College is interesting in this way.
How you develop any relationship in college can be MUCH faster (and maybe even stronger) than anywhere else because we all live together with little to no time restrictions for when we can hang out. I'm faaaaaairly certain you did not spend 24/7 with your friends in high school and you most likely did not take early morning trips to get breakfast. And yes, you did spend a lot of time with us and very little time with your hs friends this past year, so of course it's not as easy to pick up where you left off with them.
I also believe that if you--or anyone in general--lose your friends, it is because you let each other go.
This makes me sad.
I think I had a hard time with college freshman year because I don't make friends in a month or a few. It just doesn't happen that way. I don't open up to people quickly, no matter how much time we spend together. It takes time for me to consider someone a close friend, and while a number of high school friends got demoted to acquaintances, most of them are still people I would choose to talk to if I had a real problem.
On the other hand, I think it's impossible to compare your high school friends with your college friends. It's two different things. How you met each other is different and how you behave around each other is probably different too. I love my college friends like whoa and I have loads of fun with them (you!), but I would never compare them to the relationship I have with my high school friends. I love them equally much. It's a different kind of love though, like apples and oranges.
Post a Comment